As St George’s day approaches I have been looking for signs of celebrating our National Saint, but once again there is little evidence in shops or local pubs. However as usual our family will be remembering St George and no doubt raising a glass or two.
It was St George’s Day 1964 that my mum buried her husband
George, my birth father. We were too
young to attend the funeral and had no concept of dates or time but every year
we were encouraged to remember and celebrate our very own St George on St
George’s Day! Mum was always confident that the sun would shine and it would be
a good day.
She was just 26 years old with 3 children under 5 when her
husband died, yet somehow she managed to make the day she buried her husband
into a celebration every year, even though she must have been feeling so sad.
I do often wonder why I don't remember seeing mum sad. Even
when we went to the local church to visit his grave I remember it being a happy
experience. It was where I learned to appreciate the sound of the birds and the
shape of the trees. As an adult I have often thought about how this was
possible.
Then last night I was watching Britain’s Got Talent and it
all made sense!
Amanda Holden commented on an inspirational performance….
“Some people let tragedy define them,” she said
“Whereas others allow it to shape them”
There it was! That was my mum! She had not allowed her
tragedy to define who she was, she had used it to shape and forge a future full
of good things all the time remembering who had made these good things
possible!
I remembered the extract from her journal from St George’s
Day 2004 when she describes talking to George and tells him how their love has
shaped our future.
“Well George I don’t think we could ever have envisaged our daughters
being so successful. Pamela whose name you tricked me into giving her. Well she
is in America a marketing manager and still keeps the Sanders name. Sharon, the
easy going placid one who went everywhere on your shoulders, is a teacher and
Wendy is a wonderful homemaker living in Belgium. I am at peace here with you
and I feel you are with them all the time. Yes George, I am shedding a tear but
because of our love there are three very special girls who have enriched so many
people’s lives. There are grandchildren to carry on the family feeling and
through the sadness there is also happiness”
I feel blessed to have been surrounded by so much love
all my life. I feel fortunate never to
have suffered a tragedy at such a young age. Some may say that losing a father
at 3 years old is a tragedy but I never remember feeling sad. Mum shaped my
life by constantly reminding me of the beauty of small pleasures rather than
allowing the loss of my father to define me.
The sun was always shining on St George’s Day when I
was a girl and hopefully it will be shining this year. If by any chance there is some rain I shall
be looking for the rainbow and counting my blessings!
Happy St George's Day
April 23rd 2018
