Sylvia and St George

As St George’s day approaches I have been looking for signs of celebrating our National Saint, but once again there is little evidence in shops or local pubs. However as usual our family will be remembering St George and no doubt raising a glass or two.

It was St George’s Day 1964 that my mum buried her husband George, my birth father.  We were too young to attend the funeral and had no concept of dates or time but every year we were encouraged to remember and celebrate our very own St George on St George’s Day! Mum was always confident that the sun would shine and it would be a good day.

She was just 26 years old with 3 children under 5 when her husband died, yet somehow she managed to make the day she buried her husband into a celebration every year, even though she must have been feeling so sad.

I do often wonder why I don't remember seeing mum sad. Even when we went to the local church to visit his grave I remember it being a happy experience. It was where I learned to appreciate the sound of the birds and the shape of the trees. As an adult I have often thought about how this was possible.

Then last night I was watching Britain’s Got Talent and it all made sense!

Amanda Holden commented on an inspirational performance….

“Some people let tragedy define them,” she said

“Whereas others allow it to shape them”

There it was! That was my mum! She had not allowed her tragedy to define who she was, she had used it to shape and forge a future full of good things all the time remembering who had made these good things possible!

I remembered the extract from her journal from St George’s Day 2004 when she describes talking to George and tells him how their love has shaped our future.

“Well George I don’t think we could ever have envisaged our daughters being so successful. Pamela whose name you tricked me into giving her. Well she is in America a marketing manager and still keeps the Sanders name. Sharon, the easy going placid one who went everywhere on your shoulders, is a teacher and Wendy is a wonderful homemaker living in Belgium. I am at peace here with you and I feel you are with them all the time. Yes George, I am shedding a tear but because of our love there are three very special girls who have enriched so many people’s lives. There are grandchildren to carry on the family feeling and through the sadness there is also happiness”

I feel blessed to have been surrounded by so much love all my life.  I feel fortunate never to have suffered a tragedy at such a young age. Some may say that losing a father at 3 years old is a tragedy but I never remember feeling sad. Mum shaped my life by constantly reminding me of the beauty of small pleasures rather than allowing the loss of my father to define me.

The sun was always shining on St George’s Day when I was a girl and hopefully it will be shining this year.  If by any chance there is some rain I shall be looking for the rainbow and counting my blessings!

Happy St George's Day

April 23rd 2018