WHEN THE UNEXPECTED HAPPENS

Coping with Covid

On a rainy Sunday afternoon I find myself watching re runs of Antiques Road Trip. As the celebrities parted company, having made no money at the auction they gave themselves a huge hug. In that moment I felt so envious. I miss hugging my friends and my family. I miss that spontaneity. I'm sure I am one of many, who, after more than 6 months of keeping my distance, I just crave a real hug. Back in March I never expected that I would miss a simple hug so much.

It's made me reflect on that word "expect" and made me think about what happens when our expectations are not met.

Sometimes things happen that you never expect.

• When your daughter is pregnant with her second child you never expect that she will not bring your grandchild home.
• When your son reaches their 20s you never expect them to diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour.
• When your friend beats cancer twice you never expect it to return and get the better of them at the third attempt.

When the unexpected happens your world shifts. Back in 2013 when Lauren lost Harry my world shifted. It took me on a path that I never expected and it led me to the charity 4Louis.

When my friends lost their son through a brain tumour their path took them to Cancer Research and Rotherham Hospice. These charities supported us and guided us through the abyss that engulfed our world. We thought there was no way out but with their help we found our way. 

I actually think that Covid has shifted our world. A world where most of us felt safe and secure. We are all experiencing a type of loss. Not as severe as losing a child through stillbirth or brain tumour or losing a friend through cancer but a loss of we took for granted. That hug, that coffee with a friend that trip to the coast. I think that I am coping with Covid better than some because I have had to cope with the unexpected. I believe those who have suffered a huge loss and who have been touched by the unexpected are maybe a little more prepared for the impact that Covid is having on our everyday lives. 

It is those people who have had to live through the things you wouldn't expect that are my inspiration.

So this month I shall be raising awareness and possibly funds for the charities that have guided me and my friends through the most difficult and unexpected of times.

On Thursday 15 October I shall be lighting a candle to remember my grandson Harry in support of Baby Loss Awareness Week and in support of 4Louis. They have been there for hospitals and families throughout this pandemic and continue to support me and my family seven years after we lost our grandson.

On 1st November I will be "Walking for Luke" to raise awareness for Brain Tumour Research and to support my wonderful friends who lost their beautiful son at just 28 yrs of age. 

As I light my candle for Harry and as I walk the streets of Swinton (via various local pubs) for Luke I will not be expecting to raise loads of money but what I do hope is that we raise some awareness of the work these charities do to support the loss of a loved one.

I will be posting on social media and if I do manage to raise any funds via the donate button then that will be a bonus.

Meanwhile I expect to be hugging all of you sometime in 2021 when I expect to be throwing a party to celebrate the end of social distancing. If you have ever been to one of our parties then you know what to expect. If you have never experienced a party at the Abbott's then raise your expectations and gey your dancing shoes on.

Stay safe my friends.