The Little Blue Car and Friends
Do you grow old in heaven?
It's a question I often ask
myself.
I have asked other people how they imagine their loved ones in heaven.
Now my sister believes that when you go to heaven you return
to your youth. She sees mum at 21 with her first love George, happy and smiling
and free from any illness or pain.
But how can you return to your youth if you never had one?
Harry would be 4 this year but I struggle to see him as a
four year old. He will always be that babe in arms that looks at me from his
little glass frame. I must admit to looking at other children born around the
same time as Harry and wonder if he would be into Thomas the Tank or Dinosaurs.
Maybe he would prefer a drum kit or a monster truck. The list goes on!
Thing is, I can’t see past the little blue car that I bought
for him before he was born. Some of you may remember the story of the little blue car and how it became the symbol of Harry's journey to heaven and our journey without him.
On the radio this morning I listened to "Pause for Thought' The message was to adopt "An attitude of gratitude." As I was listening to the guy on the radio I remembered that day 4 years ago when we met Harry for the first time. I was so excited to meet him and overwhelmed with joy when I saw him. Its hard to describe to others how you can feel so happy at a time of such sadness but I now realise I was adopting an attitude of gratitude. I felt blessed to have met him even though I knew that the journey ahead was going to be tough, I savoured those few hours with my grandson.
Harrys birth has affected all of our future. He is a constant reminder to me to live every moment. Losing one of your family brings on a grief that is indescribable and there are some days that its hard to get up in the morning. Yet remembering Harrys birth rather than his death always makes me smile. That little blue car still makes me smile. So much so that every birthday I buy another little car to add to his collection. The more little wooden cars I add to the collection the broader my smile becomes. I can imagine him at 16 years old saying "surely there can't be any more little wooden toys?' Harry has 5 wooden toys now. This
year it's a dumper truck. Last year it was a sailing boat, the year before that
a helicopter and when he was one I bought a little red car to go with the
little blue car.
I am building up a collection and it makes me smile. Who knows if Harry will grow old in heaven. Who knows if he would like wooden toys.
What I do know is that the toys are all together in the bedroom we use for the grandkids.
Our other grandchildren play with them and we talk about Harry and we smile.
This year Harry will have a new little brother. We are so
looking forward to the new addition to the family and I really do hope he likes little wooden toys!
God Bless little man
Happy 4th Birthday
15 05 2017
