WHEN THE UNEXPECTED HAPPENS

Coping with Covid

On a rainy Sunday afternoon I find myself watching re runs of Antiques Road Trip. As the celebrities parted company, having made no money at the auction they gave themselves a huge hug. In that moment I felt so envious. I miss hugging my friends and my family. I miss that spontaneity. I'm sure I am one of many, who, after more than 6 months of keeping my distance, I just crave a real hug. Back in March I never expected that I would miss a simple hug so much.

It's made me reflect on that word "expect" and made me think about what happens when our expectations are not met.

Sometimes things happen that you never expect.

• When your daughter is pregnant with her second child you never expect that she will not bring your grandchild home.
• When your son reaches their 20s you never expect them to diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour.
• When your friend beats cancer twice you never expect it to return and get the better of them at the third attempt.

When the unexpected happens your world shifts. Back in 2013 when Lauren lost Harry my world shifted. It took me on a path that I never expected and it led me to the charity 4Louis.

When my friends lost their son through a brain tumour their path took them to Cancer Research and Rotherham Hospice. These charities supported us and guided us through the abyss that engulfed our world. We thought there was no way out but with their help we found our way. 

I actually think that Covid has shifted our world. A world where most of us felt safe and secure. We are all experiencing a type of loss. Not as severe as losing a child through stillbirth or brain tumour or losing a friend through cancer but a loss of we took for granted. That hug, that coffee with a friend that trip to the coast. I think that I am coping with Covid better than some because I have had to cope with the unexpected. I believe those who have suffered a huge loss and who have been touched by the unexpected are maybe a little more prepared for the impact that Covid is having on our everyday lives. 

It is those people who have had to live through the things you wouldn't expect that are my inspiration.

So this month I shall be raising awareness and possibly funds for the charities that have guided me and my friends through the most difficult and unexpected of times.

On Thursday 15 October I shall be lighting a candle to remember my grandson Harry in support of Baby Loss Awareness Week and in support of 4Louis. They have been there for hospitals and families throughout this pandemic and continue to support me and my family seven years after we lost our grandson.

On 1st November I will be "Walking for Luke" to raise awareness for Brain Tumour Research and to support my wonderful friends who lost their beautiful son at just 28 yrs of age. 

As I light my candle for Harry and as I walk the streets of Swinton (via various local pubs) for Luke I will not be expecting to raise loads of money but what I do hope is that we raise some awareness of the work these charities do to support the loss of a loved one.

I will be posting on social media and if I do manage to raise any funds via the donate button then that will be a bonus.

Meanwhile I expect to be hugging all of you sometime in 2021 when I expect to be throwing a party to celebrate the end of social distancing. If you have ever been to one of our parties then you know what to expect. If you have never experienced a party at the Abbott's then raise your expectations and gey your dancing shoes on.

Stay safe my friends.

Childhood Chores and a Coronavirus St George

Thankfully I am not displaying any symptoms of Covid-19, however I have developed some unusual habits!! One of these is to keep my house clean! Normally I’ll just give it a quick dust and hoover a couple of times a week, but these days of isolation have made me realise that… guess what?

Dust settles every day and because I am in the house I am noticing all those areas I’ve neglected since I retired. Well actually I’ve neglected them all my adult life.

I am discovering dust and grime in areas of my house that I have ignored for years!! I put it down to being scarred as a child.

When I was a girl and mum worked, we used to do chores. My job was to do the paintwork and clean the skirting boards. I never questioned it then but boy did I question it when I got older. Life was far too short to clean skirting boards but for some reason Covid-19 has taken me back to my childhood and once again I find myself cleaning skirting boards!

That's how on a sunny Thursday morning I am on my hands and knees in my bedroom with the radio playing and I am cleaning the skirting board!!!!

I am singing along with Michael Ball and Captain Tom.

“Walk On Walk On

With Hope in your Heart

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

 Walk On Walk On”

It's the Coronavirus Song that has taken the country by storm.

When the song finishes a little man starts talking about heroes and legends and I am reminded that it’s St George’s Day.

Of course I knew it was St George’s Day. I had been thinking back to my childhood as I scrubbed those damned skirting boards.

 Mum always told us that we had our very own St George and that he would look after us where ever we were and whatever path we chose.

I remember reading about the legend of St George and finding out that the Patron Saint of our little country tamed a dragon and slayed it because the dragon was asking for human sacrifices.

How that legend rings true in a world battling with Coronavirus.

There are lots of St Georges working today to slay the dragon that is 

Covid-19.  Every day in the news we hear stories of people who are going above and beyond to save the lives of people in hospital and to save our NHS. Communities that are coming together and businesses that are diversifying to fight this terrible dragon that is attacking our way of life.

Then I realise that I don't have to look far to find a hero or a saint. They are very close to home.

There’s the one who sends colouring books from America to families who are who struggling to home school.

The one who delivers food to local residents because he can’t go out to work.

There’s the one who visits my dad every day to make sure he has a home cooked meal, and the one who queues in the supermarket to shop for those who are self isolated then pops a bottle of fizz to a sibling just to cheer them up.

Not forgetting the one who pops a little bit of money in your bank account because they know it will help pay for the Disney channel for the little ones!

There’s the one making bags for NHS staff to pop in their PPE after a shift at work and the one who is making head bands for nurses at the local hospital.

I especially appreciate the one who forwards a funny you tube clip to put a smile on your face just when you need it.

The one that sets up a zoom meeting and a group quiz because we can’t meet for coffee and cake.

The one who uses the power of social media to raise funds for charities close to my heart.

Not forgetting the ones who set up chat rooms and share pictures of the grandkids I can’t hug and play with.

I realise am surrounded by saints! They are of course my family and my friends who are keeping me smiling and supporting those I love.

Our family is special and those who we meet are welcomed into it and share in our highs and lows. I know that my very own St George and his Sylvia are the reason that I am surrounded by saints.

So on this special St Georges Day I will make the most of the sunshine and raise a glass to all those saints out there and look forward to the day when I can get out of the bloody house and give them all a hug and stop cleaning my dirty skirting boards!!!

Happy Saint George’s Day

April 23^rd 2020.

Coronavirus and a can of Carling

A Mother's Day to Remember

These are strange times. Our routines have been disrupted. Our social circles have been affected. There are no slimming clubs, book clubs or fitness sessions. There are no bars or restaurants open and a walk with dog is just that, a walk, no calling at the local for a beer and a G & T.

It would be so easy to be negative because your holiday has been cancelled or your concert has been postponed. There are families who cannot be together due to travel restrictions and couples who cannot get married because of social distancing recommendations.  And worst of all there is no pasta or toilet rolls on the supermarket shelves!

Yet I am seeing so much goodwill around me, which is keeping me positive.

There is a wartime spirit in the communities, with random acts of kindness happening everywhere. Young lads putting together food parcels,  teenagers offering to walk the dog. Local shops and taxi firms delivering supplies to those in need.  Neighbours, checking on the elderly couple that live next door. Dad’s carers going above and beyond to make sure he gets his fish on a Friday served with a can of Carling!!

I also know we are fortunate to live in a time where technology keeps us in touch with those we love. We can order our shopping on line and read a book on a device and let the kids watch YouTube clips whist home-schooling.

However there are some days when the current situation makes you realise what is important in life and today is one of those days. It’s Mothers Day.

It is a day when we usually spoil our mum. We take her to the pub for a meal. We go to the garden centre for afternoon tea and buy a potted plant. We deliver a card and a bunch of flowers and we give her a hug and tell her that we love her.

However today is Mothers Day 2020 in the midst of the Coronavirus Pandemic. Social media is full of pictures and stories of sons and daughters being separated from their mum. There are tears because we are advised not to give that hug and to keep our distance. Families have had to find other ways to show their mum they love them. Ways that do not need commercial intervention.

Daffodils have been picked from the garden, cards have been made rather than bought and words have been spoken in the knowledge that we are living in unprecedented times and that time with our loved ones are to be treasured and do not necessarily need to cost a fortune!

Thing is I’ve been doing this with my mum for nearly 10 years. Every year I make mum a card and pick some daffodils and sit on a bench and tell her I love her and I miss her and I wish I could give her a hug.

I ask her if she’s OK and to let me know she can hear me. Usually a blackbird joins me or a song comes on the radio so I know she’s listening!

If she were here I know she would be smiling and saying “This too shall pass” or "Nobody's got a leg off" How I miss her words of wisdom! 

So although these are uncertain times and worrying times I actually think that when its over we will all have had the opportunity to reflect on what really matters in life. Our family, our health and the absolute appreciation of soft toilet rolls if you have any!!!!

Stay safe my friends!