This week has been Baby Loss Awareness Week #BLAW.
In previous years I have spent most of this week at local
hospitals supporting their events and attending their memorial services, both
as a Trustee of 4Louis and as Harry’s Grandma
However, this year, I have approached #BLAW very
differently. I made a decision to make memories with Harry’s siblings and
cousin during this important week
On the day I should have been meeting the local bereavement
team I was searching for conkers near our local pond with Harry’s cousin,
Oliver and his brother, Bradley.
On the morning of one of the memorial services I was
watching Harry’s sister, Lilly Bet, jump into the deep end of the swimming pool
for the very first time and when I should have been supporting the maternity
team at a 4Louis coffee morning I was teaching Ella Mae how to sew a drawstring bag!
Just because I was not present at all the events I was
invited to does not mean I am not supporting #BLAW.
Just because I haven’t posted on social media that this week
is #BLAW does not mean I am not supporting it.
I have thought about Harry all week. I have taken every
opportunity to talk about him and I have responded to all the posts and tweets
that I have seen.
However instead of posting on social media I have privately
messaged all those families that I have met over the last six years and let
them know I am thinking of them. I wanted to reach out to those people who I
know are feeling the same feelings as me. This week I have made time for those
people.
Harry changed our lives and introduced me to a charity I didn't know existed. Six years ago I would probably have
scrolled past any post on social media that was informing me of Baby Loss
Awareness Week. Just as I have scrolled past similar posts this month informing
me that October is National Disability Employment Month and Breast Cancer
Awareness Month and National Cholesterol Month as well as ADHD Awareness Month.
All of these “Awareness” posts made me reflect on how to
support and raise awareness of a cause that is very special to me. If I feel
overwhelmed by all the “Initiatives”
happening this month then maybe others will just scroll past any post I submit
about Baby Loss Awareness Week. I began to ask myself who was reading my posts
and tweets and I found myself questioning my use of social media.
At this point I must emphasise that I love social media as a
way to connect with people and I will continue to use it to raise awareness for
all the charities that I support. However this month social media has
highlighted how many charities need support in October. Like all of us who use
facebook and twitter I am made more aware of the problems we all face and I use
social media as a tool to raise awareness as well to raise much needed funds.
However, I too am guilty of scrolling over many of the “Awareness “posts.
Its not that I don't care about them, its just that, as yet,
they haven’t touched me personally so I suppose I don't really understand the
impact they have.
Losing Harry touched me personally in a way that I was
totally unprepared for. He sent me and indeed my family on a path that we never
imagined.
Six years ago I was one of only nine people who met Harry.
Six are family members and three are midwives. We experienced, first hand, the
impact that holding a child in your arms who will never open their eyes or take
a breath can have. No words on social media can do that justice.
Don't get me wrong Social media has been a powerful tool to
raise funds and support for 4Louis a charity very close to my heart.
I have met some amazing people and I am inspired by many others
that I only know through their hash tag on Twitter and Instagram.
But this year I wanted to remember Harry without the help of
social media. I wanted to make memories and if I got the chance I wanted to
talk about Harry to people in his family whom he had never met and indeed who would
not be part of our family if it weren’t for him! This weekend I did get that
chance as Harry’s brother and sisters had a sleepover! 
Harry’s brother Bradley is just starting to recognise people
in photographs and he points them out and says their names. Harry can be found
in small photo frames in most rooms in our home. As he pointed out his sisters
and his parents I took the opportunity to introduce him to Harry.
As we were sewing and watching you tube on the computer
Lilly Bet caught a glimpse of Harry and she talked about him and asked what he
would be doing in heaven?
Ella Mae is very much aware of Harry and when she saw
Bradley playing with the little blue car she explained to him that it was his
brother’s car.
There have been no tears when we talked about Harry, just
smiles and that is how I have remembered Harry this year…. with a smile.
Tomorrow is Wave of Light and I will light a candle and I
will probably shed a tear and I’m sure I will post it on social media. I know
and understand and accept that there will be some people who will scroll past
it and I’m OK with that.
Social Media has a part to play in raising awareness but
this week I have realised the value of stepping away from a screen to raise
awareness where it really matters. In my case I realised that was very close to home. I talked about Harry to his siblings knowing that they wouldn't be here if it weren’t for a little man who I met six years ago who was
wearing a stripey blue hat and was wrapped in blanket with a blue kangaroo.
God Bless Little Man.
